I want to keep today light, and hopefully we all will learn somethings about each other along the way. My worst date . . . I had a lot to choose from . . . but I do have a winner.
We will call him Tony, because he was Italian, and totally rode that horn! He had a real Italian name that ended in a vowel. He found me on POF, and although his profile picture was a snap shot of a picture, I was thrown off because his profile was written so well. He spoke about family and adventurous hobbies, and I was intrigued. Oh and he didn't text either. Which I can understand, because some of my friends are still on track phones.
Those of you who know me well, can surely imagine the way I interrogated him about why he doesn't own a smartphone. Still I try to give everyone a fair chance, and he was attractive in that picture. He turned me off when he told me he would be in Montauk for the weekend with his friends, shark diving, and he wanted me to meet them and go. I had just started speaking to him, and was not going to go be a groupie in Montauk. He was totally confused why I would not jump at the chance.
He was so proud to share how he is a commercial real estate owner, and he loves doing things with his friends, but is missing that special someone in his life. He was never married, and around 38 years old. He told me I was missing out, and I told him maybe another time. Never thought I would hear from him again.
That weekend, I received several phone calls where he updated me about his itinerary. I still would not meet him. Over the next six months, Tony would randomly call and try to arrange a date. Over that time I did develop a friendship with him. He had a rawness of emotion that I enjoyed getting to know. I was also a sucker when he went on about his mustang (he is one of the reasons I have a no mustang rule.).
His initial pushiness, turned into persistence and I thought that was something to admire. He lived in Connecticut, about 2 hours from me. After six months of Tony patiently waiting, as he listened to my adventures in dating, I finally decided I would meet him.
I took the ferry to Connecticut, and he planned on meeting me there to go to lunch. I purposely chose to go to him, since I would be able to escape if I had to. There is nothing worse then trying to get rid of someone you are having a miserable time with.
Tony told me he would pick me up in his red mustang, and the top would be down, and he assured me that he would be easy to spot.
As the ferry pulled up, I looked for him, and I did not see him. I walked out to the parking lot, and waited, and then I heard it. The mustang must be around the corner . . . and unfortunately it was. A old rusty, mustang with the top down. The driver, in my eyes, looked like a much older and heavier version of the picture I had seen. Now, I am pissed, because if this was a local date, I would have turned around and walked away for having a picture so deceiving online. I did however, get to know him over the last six months, and thought it would just be too mean to walk away at that point. Besides, what is wrong with a little lunch?
He opened my door (that is a plus) and then asked me where I would like to go. I explained it would be nice to go to something casual laid back, and quiet so we can talk and get to know each other. I was still holding a little bit of hope that the date would turn out well. The he told me he knew the perfect place.
We pulled into a packed parking lot, in front of a huge Chinese Buffet! The entrance was packed, with standing room only, and a half hour wait. Tony looked at me, and smiled, and said, "That isn't too bad."
We had an interesting lunch, taking turns to the buffet. Then after he asked me what I would like to do, and I felt bad and said we could go to a park or someplace outside that we can talk. The entire time I am trying to find a way to escape without totally going MIA.
He drove me the scenic way to a beautiful park, that conveniently drove us past his home, commercial properties, and local hangouts. Yes he gave me the entire tour, mentioned past girlfriend stories, and also threw in there how I could stay over if I would like.
Since I told him I needed to get back home, he offered to take me to the ferry. I told him we could hangout a little while longer and I would take the next ferry. While walking in the park Tony recognized someone, and told me about how this guy was a loser, then proceed to drag me over to meet him. After we spoke to them I turned to Tony and said, "I should go to the ferry now, I am not feeling this, and I need to get home."
He agreed, and took me to the ferry, we parted with a quick kiss on the cheek, and away I went. Safe, on the ferry and heading home. Then my phone rings. It is Tony calling. I pick it up, and he is pissed. He wanted me to give him an explanation exactly why I didn't stay and what went wrong. He felt there must have been one thing that derailed this. He didn't have any clue it was that I just didn't feel anything romantic for him at all. We ended that call really poorly. I thought I would never hear from him again.
He did call me a few more times over the months and I refused to pick up the phone. I got a new phone, and didn't bring over his contact info. Then about 2 months ago (well over a year since our date) I received a text message from a number I didn't recognize. I asked who it was. He wrote his name, and I immediately went to the block feature on my phone. Love Android and the free block feature.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Buffet is never a good idea for a first date, unless she says she LOVES it.
Never never talk details about past girlfriends. I know I will specifically ask, because some guys really bash their ex's . . . but it is a trap I set. If I ask, I expect the response to be something along the lines of, "we wanted different things," or "it just wasn't the right fit." Not about how she complained all the time.
Never forget the basics. If there is a red flag on the profile (ie the profile picture that wasn't digital) move on.
Please share your dating horror stories!
