How did NICE GUYS get a bad name? My friend Chris McGregor thinks that "Nice has its place too."
Chris McGregor
"Nice guys finish last. That's the old story isn't it?
Last night I got into a fairly impassioned discussion on this very topic. The poster (who was trying to shill his free e-book) said nice guys need to stop being so nice if they want to get anywhere in the world.
Man up. Grow a pair. Be decisive and aggressive. Take what's yours.
That's always what we hear. It's what women want, it's what our bosses want, right?
I think it's wrong. And I want to start a community to help nice guys get ahead without thinking they have to destroy or hide their niceness. We've gotten a bad rap for too long and it's time to push back a little bit. Nice has its place too."
Last night I got into a fairly impassioned discussion on this very topic. The poster (who was trying to shill his free e-book) said nice guys need to stop being so nice if they want to get anywhere in the world.
Man up. Grow a pair. Be decisive and aggressive. Take what's yours.
That's always what we hear. It's what women want, it's what our bosses want, right?
I think it's wrong. And I want to start a community to help nice guys get ahead without thinking they have to destroy or hide their niceness. We've gotten a bad rap for too long and it's time to push back a little bit. Nice has its place too."
Ironically he tagged me in on the same day that I am working on multiple blogs. This blog is written from me to "ALL THE GUYS."
When I was a "serial dater" I listened to guy after guy complain about being too nice, taken advantage of . . . played. Dating battle scars, and pessimism seemed to hangover so many of these men. It was brutal listening to some of the stories that these men went through.
One classic story . . . a guy meets a girl for coffee. Everything seems good so they go to a second location that she picked. It was a seedy dive bar, where she proceeded to drink a whole hand too many. The NICE GUY did not know where she lived, or how to leave her without being a DB. Soooo . . .that is right . . . he took her to his place.
Upon arrival she passed out . . . and he paced around, texting his friends and wondering what he got himself into. She woke up around midnight, and wanted to go out again! He checked to make sure she was lucid, and then returned her to her car and said goodbye.
WHAT WENT WRONG?
The NICE GUY did not set boundaries for himself or his date. There is a difference between being a NICE GUY and being a MORON. :-)
NEVER GO TO A SECOND LOCATION AFTER A COFFEE DATE! EVER!
THE #K10RULE FIRST DATE
These are my rules when you are looking for a high quality, long term relationship.
(There are completely different rules for NSA/FWB.)
1) Never discuss sex prior to meeting.
2) Ask her for a weekend dinner date, at least 3 days before the actual date.
A high quality girl will already have her calendar booked the day before or the day of.
Asking for a weekend can usually determine where in the ranks you are. Weekends are reserved for the best of the best.
DINNER DATE! I know you are thinking that this can get into a lot of money, and what if there is no click!
(If you are thinking this, then I am telling you that you are cheap, and have to take a risk, and you should look for a lesser girl.)
If she ACCEPTS then you are on your way to a great date!
If she DEFLECTS she is speaking in Girl Code. She is still checking you out. She should offer you another option, if she doesn't give her an option close response (ie Tuesday or Thursday).
If she LEAVES IT OPEN you need to move on and not call her.
If she DOWNGRADES your offer from DINNER to COFFEE is never a good sign. She has reservations about you.
3) Never discuss sex prior to meeting.
4) Never start picture swapping before your first date.
TO BE CONTINUED . . .
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