I made so many newbie mistakes when I first started my online dating account. I think I had to redo my profile a 100 times before I figured out what worked well for me. I also became that "girl - SPACE - friend" for many guys who were struggling through the online dating process too.
There are many different websites to choose from. Some are pay to join, and others are free. I was on ALL the MAJOR dating sites; all the pro-daters are. I lean more to the traditional side of dating. This is just my opinion and I am positive that you can find a hundred girls to disagree with me. I am sharing what worked for me and what I looked for.
When you date you find out a lot about yourself. The initial six dates are all about mutual selection. You are deciding if you want to see her again and she is deciding the same about you. It is tempting to put everything you could possibly think of in your profile. This is a major turn off. A three page single spaced essay tells me that even a coffee date with you would never end.
Online Profiles (dating and non-dating) are advertisements. You are advertising yourself. Depending on how tech savvy you are, and what your online presence is like, you may be managing your own brand as well. I know a lot to think about.
Some of your on Google+ have met me through MeetMe.com. I like MeetMe.Com because it is a social site for meeting new people, without being totally focused on dating. You can have an active profile for networking, like I do. The second site that I recommend is Plenty of Fish (POF). This website is a more traditional online dating website, similar to Match. Meet Me and POF are both FREE, and therefore have a heavier dose of smut. Every dating website I have been on has people who are only interested in NSA. They make that pretty clear, and you will find it everywhere.
FIRST SET UP THE PROFILE
Make a list of everything you are looking for in a girl.
Make a list of what you have to offer.
Compare your lists and divide them into qualities that you share, and qualities that are different.
Each couple has two people who compliment each other. There is a mix of similarities that make us feel "at home" and differences that add to the "excitement and discovery" of a relationship. You must also accept that this list is a starting point, and you are not bound contractually by the statements in your profile. In other words, don't stress about describing your future. That will all change based on the person you are with. I know some of you are tempted to write about your desire to have or not have children. My rule of thumb, is never disclose that in your profile. NEVER TALK ABOUT UNBORN KIDS IN YOUR PROFILE.
The ideal guys profile that I am looking at is about 3 - 5 short paragraphs long and reads something like this (yes feel free to use this):
(THE BASICS ABOUT YOU)
Hi my name is _______ and I am _____ yrs old and loving life. I have a stable career, desire for adventure and traditional sense of responsibility. You may call me old fashioned, but I think that treating a woman well never goes out of style.
(THE BASICS ABOUT WHO YOU ARE LOOKING FOR)
The woman I am searching for will LOOK LIKE HER PICTURES (lol), be my partner in crime, is confident, loves to cook and family is a top priority. She shares my belief that your health is the best gift you can give to your partner. She isn't afraid to camp in a tent, play flag football with the guys, or wake up in the middle of the night and race to catch the sunrise. We will have fun doing nearly anything, because we just love spending time together and exploring life together.
(A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOUR VIEW ON HOW DATING IS)
A lot of people on here are speed dating. I am looking for quality and ready to spend the time to find the right match and not just any match. I do not have a standard first date, as I like to get to know the girl a little first, and think of something together, or plan something just for her.
I am very active on Google+ and my profile is public. (add link)
Feel free to check me out there too so you can see I am as real as it gets. Send me a message if you are interested in getting to know each other, at the very least we both made a new friend.
I have children who are completely separate from dating.
________________________________________
Other things to note about your profile.
- Do not use your REAL AND COMPLETE NAME (Fatal Attraction)
- Do not list your REAL HOMETOWN. Pick a town one or two over from you. Make sure your location services are TURNED OFF. These features are geared primarily towards NSA.
- Have a friend look over your profile. You may be terrible at grammar and spelling, and most girls don't mind this. However, poor spelling in your profile shows poor judgement, and lack of taking things seriously. Remember this is like your resume.
- Picture Quality Control
- No weird angle shots! No matter how awesome you look.
- 3 - 7 Pictures total. All current taken within the last year and you should be alone in them. You are giving a snap shot of your life. Don't show off your friends, thinking you are the best looking in the bunch. This is a singles match!
- Head shot showing your SMILE
- Full body shot (NOT IN A BATHROOM)
- Dressed down
- Dressed up
- Showing off activities you like to do.
- NEVER NEVER NEVER
- Duck face it
- Pose with your car so the license plate shows. (And blurring out makes you look like a real DB. It shows all the effort you went through to show off your car, and not get stalked.)
- Have a female arm around you in the picture, even if her body is cropped out.
- Lay down in bed pictures.
- Shirtless unless at the beach or pool.
- NOW look at your pictures for:
- Quality of the Picture (they should all be digital with high resolution don't over airbrush!)
- Background of pictures. I have seen toothpaste covered mirrors, illegal drug paraphernalia, scattered shoes across the floor, dirty laundry, and my favorite turn off from pictures . . . GRANDMAS FLORAL SHEETS!!!!
- TURN OFF VIEWED PROFILE
- You don't need anyone seeing when you checked them out, or when you read their messages.
Please feel free to send me the link to your online dating profile if you would like me to take a peak and offer constructive feedback.
Here is a picture of my profile on MeetMe.com
Finally thoughts . . .
I Googled every guy before I went on a date with him. You'd be amazed by how much someone versed in search terms can find out about YOU. On the first day that I put up my profile, I usually get 100 - 200 messages the first day! Guys send the messages out and girls respond. Just the way it is. I am sharing this number with you so that you don't freak out if a girl takes a few days to reply to you. I would keep certain guys profiles in the cue for a few days. There are lots of girls who are looking for security and a lifestyle, and not a boyfriend or a husband. There are many many psycho singles in the dating world. We all have to be careful. When you find a "normal" person who you know isn't the right match, you may want to FRIEND ZONE her. She may be friends with your next girlfriend.
ALL online Profiles need to show the SAME relationship status. If you are SINGLE, list it on Linked In, Facebook, Google+, and ALL PROFILES that have the option for you to list it. When that status changes, change it everywhere.
I hope you enjoyed this piece! Please comment below if you have any questions or concerns. I am here to help you :)
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